Urban Soldier Young Master

Chapter 826 - 825: Just Want to Break the Rules Once

Chu Ge gently held Ye Li's hand with his right hand, seriously looking into her eyes, slowly and resolutely shaking his head, while his left hand pointed to his heart."Ye Li, every word I say comes from my heart. I'm not lying to you, I never looked down on you. This isn't a joke. I understand everything you've said. I am an orphan too, and I truly empathize with you."

Chu Ge said so, and truly believed it; every word was sincere.

Ye Li's body trembled slightly as she stared intently into Chu Ge's eyes. After a few seconds, she gave a bitter smile and lowered her head.

"Brother Chu, what made you so strong as you are now? Sigh..."

Ye Li sighed, giving a lonely yet graceful smile.

"Brother Chu, thank you for listening to all my nonsensical talk. If you're not tired of listening, can you listen a bit longer? Could you hold my hand a bit longer? There are things I really can't say without a drink. Let me ramble on for a while, alright?"

"Hmm, I'll always be your best listener, no matter when."

"Actually... though I am not jealous of people like Mu Xiaoting, because people like us are worlds apart, I don't hate this world where dirty and ugly things happen every day, because just as there is darkness, there is also light."

"I just hate myself. Why am I so useless? I'm so weak and humble, my existence doesn't seem to hold any significance to this world. If one day I disappeared, I'm afraid... including you, everyone around me would soon forget that a girl named Ye Li was ever here."

"I am... a coward. Sometimes I don't even have the courage to hate myself. I'm scared of too many things, so I make myself conform every day—to others, to the rules—because that way my life is as unchanged as possible. I tell myself every day that this is right, this is good."

"I'm like Belikov from Chekhov's pen, like a man inside a shell. Perhaps, the only difference between him and me is that I don't suffocate others. I... probably have no sense of presence, do I?"

Although Ye Li was speaking with a smile, the sound in Chu Ge's ears was like mourning, confused and helpless, causing waves of sadness in his heart.

"Ye Li, it's not like that..."

"Brother Chu, a good listener doesn't interrupt when the other person doesn't want to be interrupted." Ye Li, with blurred eyes, smiled and raised her hand, placing a finger over Chu Ge's lips. "I have a few more words, let me finish in one breath, let me speak freely, alright? Otherwise, I might not have the courage to continue."

"Hmm..." Chu Ge nodded.

"I have followed the rules for so many years, but today, Mu Xiaoting made me realize that someone like me doesn't even have the opportunity to follow certain rules. I find myself so ridiculous."

"Brother Chu, you're really silly... No, just like Sister Shanshan said, you must be crazy. Otherwise, why would you treat the daughter of the secretary of the provincial committee the way you did for someone as lowly as me? It's so not worth it. The right thing would have been to laugh at my pettiness and ignorance with them, and drive me out!"

Chu Ge's brows furrowed tighter, his eyes filled with indescribable sadness and a bit of anger, anger for Ye Li belittling herself so much.

Ye Li's fingers gently pressed against Chu Ge's lips, and he knew she didn't want him to speak. Ultimately, he sighed silently, responding with silence.

"Brother Chu, listening to me like this, you must be angry, right? Angry at my self-deprecation, angry like a dog biting Lü Dongbin. You went through all this for me, yet I am so ungrateful, even blaming you, right? I think that's how it must be."

"Actually, how could I not be moved? It's just that I know my worth. I would rather be humiliated a hundred or a thousand times over than see you embarrassed or in trouble because of me."

"You rescued me from the darkness. Anything I do for you is what I should do, but in reality, I'm like a jinx, bringing you trouble time and again. The debt I owe you grows more every day, so much so that I can never repay it in a lifetime."

Ye Li's smile grew bitterer. She picked up the wine bottle, pouring the last bit of red wine into her glass, and drank it all in one gulp.

Breathing out a long breath of wine, Ye Li stood up from the table and came to Chu Ge's side, her eyes full of pleading, "Brother Chu, hold my hand, will you?"

At this moment, facing this scene, what more could Chu Ge say? His feelings were complex as he slowly stood up, facing Ye Li's more complex gentle smile, lightly holding her hand.

Ye Li felt the warmth of Chu Ge's palm, gazing steadily into his eyes. After a long while, she softly murmured, "Brother Chu, my heart feels so heavy, I'm so tired..."

"I know, I know everything, but it doesn't matter, everything will get better and better. Let me help you to the room for a nap, and when you wake up, all the sadness will be gone."

"Hmm..."

Ye Li bit her lip and pleaded again, "Brother Chu, please don't let go of my hand, okay?"

Chu Ge hesitated for a moment, finally nodded, holding Ye Li's hand as he led her to the bedroom, letting her sit on the bed.

"Sleep, I'll be here, not going anywhere. When you wake up, I'll take you back to school."

Chu Ge watched Ye Li lie down, covered her with the quilt, smiled softly, and turned to leave the room. Yet, before he turned, he saw Ye Li open her mouth, wanting to speak but stopping.

Returning to the living room, Chu Ge was in no mood to deal with the leftovers on the dining table. He went straight to the couch and sat down, pulling out the pack of cigarettes he had bought a few days ago. He put one in his mouth but didn't light it. His mind was a mess, yet he couldn't figure out what he was thinking.

Time passed silently for a long while. From the direction of the bedroom, Ye Li's voice could be heard.

"Brother Chu, are you still there?"

"Yes, I'm here."

"Could you... come over and keep me company?"

Chu Ge hesitated for a moment, "I'm not going anywhere; I'm just sitting here. You should sleep, alright?"

Even though Chu Ge said this, Ye Li seemed not to hear it and continued to softly inquire, "Brother Chu, can you come over and keep me company? I feel like you're so far away from me."

Chu Ge sighed, put the cigarette back in the pack, rubbed his temples with his hand, and finally got up from the couch to walk toward the bedroom.

Pushing open the door that he had just closed himself, Ye Li lay quietly on the bed, wrapped snugly in a blanket, their eyes meeting.

"Brother Chu, can you hold my hand like just now?"

"I..."

"Brother Chu..."

Chu Ge hesitated for nearly a minute before finally walking to the bedside, sitting down sideways, and gently holding Ye Li's hand that was extended out from under the blanket. "Sleep now."

Just as Chu Ge finished these two words, Ye Li suddenly sat up in bed, her other hand grabbing onto the hand that Chu Ge was holding hers with. Her small hand was gripping so tightly that Chu Ge was momentarily stunned.

"Ye... Ye Li, don't be like this."

"Brother Chu, today I don't want to follow the rules anymore. Could you let me be indulgent just once?"

"Ye Li, you're drunk."

Chu Ge wanted to withdraw his hand, but Ye Li's grip was so tight. He had never known that such strength could erupt from her frail body.

Of course, if he used force, Ye Li's strength wouldn't be enough to restrain him, but in such a situation, he ultimately couldn't bear to forcibly pull his hand away.

This feeling had nothing to do with anything else; it was just a genuine sense of pity.

"Yes, I'm drunk. I also know this isn't right. But I, I've been playing by the rules for so many years. I just want to break the rules once! Just once! Is that not allowed?"

"Ye..."

Chu Ge had just uttered a single word when Ye Li's lips came close. Chu Ge felt a block in his heart and immediately lifted his hand to block his lips.

Seeing Chu Ge raise his hand, Ye Li was initially taken aback, then grabbed his wrist.

At this moment, Ye Li was completely different from her usual gentle self. She wanted to move Chu Ge's hand away with such force and determination, almost to the point of madness.

Chu Ge's emotions were indescribably complex, caught in a deep conflict between reason and emotion.

He knew in his heart that he had feelings for Ye Li. They were kindred spirits, both orphans from the same orphanage. The day they first met, he viewed her as a sister. Yet, imperceptibly, this sibling-like affection had gradually gained nuances of romantic feelings.

Now, these two emotions were so entangled that he couldn't tell which was stronger. Not even Chu Ge himself could distinctly say.

Pushing Ye Li away would be the simplest thing for Chu Ge, but... if he did, it would undoubtedly inflict great hurt upon Ye Li. But on the other hand, if he didn't push her away, wouldn't that also be a form of harm?

Just as Ye Li said, she had lived by the rules for more than twenty years, only to find that she didn't even have the qualifications to follow certain rules. How could her heart not ache?

Some are born with silver spoons in their mouths, growing up with endless pampering. Whatever mistakes they make seem to be naturally forgivable, with others even coddling and indulging them. She just wanted to be indulgent once. She only wished for a bit of compromise and love from him at this moment. Is that considered wrong?

Chu Ge couldn't figure it out, didn't know what to do. As Ye Li's grip became more forceful, he also grew more confused about whether he should let go of her hand or not.