ushernet Chapter 38
Chapter 38
It had already been over two weeks since I started learning the Primordial Origin-based cultivation method from Yoo Doha.
At first, I was exhausted and couldn’t even breathe properly, but as time passed, I definitely found stability.
Breathing became more comfortable, and furthermore, the circulation of internal energy became smoother.
However, the amount was minimal, so there was no significant difference, but since there was no difficulty in operating the cultivation method itself, there were no major issues.
But as Yoo Doha had said, accumulating internal energy through the Primordial Origin took an extremely long time.
Comparing the time when I learned the Nine Heavens Meridians and now, the amount accumulated was strikingly different.
If learning the Nine Heavens Meridians felt like drawing water from a well, now it felt like collecting morning dew drop by drop.
As a result, even though I dedicated three shichen a day, it felt incredibly slow as only a very small amount accumulated.
Whenever that happened, Yoo Doha would smile and reassure me, saying it was normal and not to worry too much.
However, the growth rate was too slow. I had limited time, and if it continued at this sluggish pace, the time remaining for me would pass before I could see any effects.
I sometimes wondered if it was right for me, with limited time, to do this, but I quickly dismissed those thoughts.
In the first place, I didn’t start with any expectations. It was more like a ‘good if it works, but okay if it doesn’t’ level. So there was no need to force myself to cling to it.
Time passed like that, and about a month had gone by.
But there was no significant progress in my condition compared to a month ago. The accumulated internal energy was still meager, and there seemed to be no improvement in my condition.
Although I wasn’t particularly in pain or collapsing, I could feel my stamina depleting and becoming fatigued.
As the elderly often say they feel different from the previous year, I too could feel the difference between myself a month ago and now.
The hobbies and habits I used to enjoy started to feel burdensome to my body, and my sleeping time had noticeably increased.
When Hyuk Dojin jokingly said he didn’t know I slept so much, I thought it was simply due to fatigue, but now it wasn’t.
It was significantly increasing. Noticeably so.
Before breakfast, Hwa Ui came to check my pulse. He stared at me intently with an indiscernible expression.
“Is there a problem?”
Hyuk Dojin asked Hwa Ui, but Hwa Ui’s mouth, filled with his brush-like white beard, didn’t easily open. Hwa Ui silently gazed at me before shifting his gaze to the maids waiting in the room and instructed them to leave.
At his gesture, the room emptied, leaving only Hwa Ui, Hyuk Dojin, and me. Hwa Ui deeply frowned and spoke quietly.
“How long has it been since you started sleeping more?”
“I haven’t felt there was a problem for long. But I think it’s been about a month since Sowol started sleeping a lot. Perhaps it started even earlier than that.”
“A month...”
Hwa Ui looked up at the ceiling, moving his lips and muttering softly, then faced me again and spoke in a low voice.
“How long has it been since Miss arrived here?”
“I believe it hasn’t been two months yet.”
At Hyuk Dojin’s answer, Hwa Ui briefly nodded and slowly spoke.
“Then the remaining time the young lady mentioned, half a year, now means four months.”
“...”
Our expressions slightly stiffened at the heavy words we wanted to avoid. However, Hwa Ui looked unconcerned, as if explaining that it was his duty to say it. Hwa Ui turned to Hyuk Dojin.
“Young Cult Leader. How old do you think Miss appears to be?”
“Why are you suddenly asking that?”
“Please answer.”
Hyuk Dojin glanced at me, rolling his eyes, and calmly spoke.
“She appears to be at a young age, not even twenty years old yet.”
“That’s right. In my view as well, Miss Moyong is still just a child. At an age where there is more life ahead than behind. But for Miss Moyong, the time remaining is a mere four months. In other words, the time she is facing is not that of an eighteen-year-old, but that of an elderly person, one who wouldn’t be surprising to die soon.”
“If it’s too much for you, you don’t have to do it. Rather than being in pain and suffering, it’s better to find another way...”
“I’ve endured well for a month, so I’ll try a bit more.”
“But...”
“Don’t worry too much.”
I twisted my waist as I put on my outer robe. I gave the brightest smile I could to Hyuk Dojin, who was quietly looking at me.
“Everything will be alright.”
I moved away from Hyuk Dojin, who tried to hold onto me, and left the room. With a click, the door closed, and silence flowed.
The corridor where people always passed by was too quiet. After glancing around the empty corridor, I stepped to the side and leaned against the wall.
‘...My body is dying.’
To face that future again. I smiled and said it was okay, that there would be a better way... But honestly, I was scared.
Afraid.
The thought of having to experience the same pain as in my previous life was simply terrifying.
I smiled because Hyuk Dojin was even more sorrowful than me, but my heart was crying.
“...Haah.”
I leaned against the wall and hung my head low. Tears that I couldn’t show flowed down my cheeks.
One drop, then another.
The more tears fell, the more I had to suppress the sound that threatened to burst from my mouth.
I covered my lips with my palm. But that wasn’t enough, so I placed my other hand over that palm to completely muffle my sobs.
Only then could I silently shed tears.
* * *
[Master.]
“...”
Eun Do, who rarely spoke first, sent a telepathic message. Hyuk Dojin, who was leaning against the wall with his eyes closed, didn’t respond to Eun Do’s message calling him.
Without waiting for his answer, Eun Do opened his mouth right away.
[...She’s crying.]
Even at his words, Hyuk Dojin remained silent with his eyes closed.
Hyuk Dojin’s senses were several times more developed than others.
It was impossible for this wall to block those senses.
Eun Do spoke to Hyuk Dojin again, who still didn’t respond.
[Is it alright not to go out and see her?]
“...”
Only then did Hyuk Dojin slowly open his eyes. His lips parted slowly.
“Protect her, Eun Do. Don’t let anyone else approach Sowol.”
[But...]
“Sometimes people want to cry alone. When they are so sad that no one’s presence can comfort them, when they want to cover their mouth and cry alone. So, I will only protect Sowol when she’s like that.”
When Hyuk Dojin’s mother passed away, no one left him alone. Recalling himself on that day, he closed his eyes again.
-Young Cult Leader. When you’re tired and exhausted, sometimes it’s okay to cry. Crying isn’t shameful. Wounds on the outside heal by licking them and applying medicine, but wounds of the heart don’t heal that way. The medicine to heal the wounds of the heart can sometimes be tears. Just because you don’t cry doesn’t make you a strong person. Not crying means it may be festering inside. So, whenever you’re struggling, cry as much as you want.
Geum Soso’s voice seemed to resonate calmly.
Tl/note: Oh my gosh, even I cried while translating this... Everyone craving for life, always.