I Took A Succubus's First Time

Chapter 358 - 358: You’re a monster now, aren’t you?

"…You really are too kind, Kou-kun."Her words carried a softness that almost felt like it could break at the slightest touch. The smile on her face was bright, but at the same time, it was fragile. It was like glass that was reflecting the moonlight. Kouhei felt that if he said the wrong thing, that delicate smile would crumble and vanish right before his eyes.

"I… don't know about that," Kouhei muttered, lowering his gaze slightly.

He didn't see himself as kind. Not in the way Nagisa was painting him. To him, he was just someone who lived comfortably in the gray and he was never fully leaning toward good or evil. He wasn't the type to leap in and help someone without hesitation, but he wasn't the type to ignore suffering completely either. He simply went along with the flow of things, quietly following the current, even while others were drowning.

"If I were to call myself truly kind, then I'd have to say everyone else is too kind as well," he continued, his voice calm but firm. "Because honestly, I don't think I'm particularly kind at all. I'm just… someone who goes along with everything, without really putting too much thought into it."

Nagisa tilted her head, her lips curling into a small smile. "I see… Well, maybe. But that, in its own way, is kindness too."

Her words lingered in the air as her eyes slowly lifted toward the moon above, her expression softening in the pale silver glow.

Kouhei took a quiet breath. This was the moment.

"Nagisa-san," he began, his tone heavier than before, "would you mind hearing out Yuzuha-san?"he little flower entrusted her life to. So yes… I know who you are very well."

Little flower. She meant Nagisa.

There was warmth in her voice when she said it, even if it was faint. Despite everything, Yuzuha seemed to genuinely care for Nagisa.

"I want to ask you something, Yuzuha-san," Kouhei said, his eyes narrowing slightly. "Why did you betray your clan and sell them out?"

"Because I felt like it," Yuzuha answered smoothly, a smile playing at her lips.

"I know that's not true."

"Why? Why don't you believe me, Okumura-sama?"

"Because your voice trembled just now when you said it was only because you felt like it."

"Huh?"

"If that was really the truth, your voice wouldn't have wavered. Not like that," Kouhei said, his tone cutting through the air like a blade.

For the first time, Yuzuha's expression stiffened, the smile slipping away from her face.

"And if that truly was the reason, your heart wouldn't be pounding this hard."

He was seeing through her completely. With the power of Empathy—an ability he gained from Hina—he could sense the feelings others tried to hide. And right now, he could feel Yuzuha drowning in lies she told herself.

"It's useless to lie to Kouhei-kun, Yuzuha. He'll see right through you," Yuuna said sharply.

Yuzuha let out a bitter chuckle, though her eyes darkened. "And you still call yourself human? No… you're a monster now, aren't you?"

Well, Kouhei could admit to himself that he wasn't normal anymore.

There was no way he could ever be a normal person again after everything he had gone through. There was absolutely no way he could live as a human again.

Calling himself human already felt like a stretch, because deep down he knew—he could never go back to being one.

But rather than hating it, it felt natural for him to embrace it now. After all, that was the only right thing left to do.

"What would I even get if I told you the truth, Okumura-sama? Would you cry for me? Or would you swear you'd save me from this drowning hell I've been stuck in, where no one ever dared to reach out their hand and pull me back up? Would you save the clan members I killed because of my actions? Would you save Nagisa's parents?"

Kouhei couldn't do any of that. He knew it. Saving someone who was already dead was impossible. There was no such thing as going back to the past and undoing the damage. There were many miracles that could happen, but that kind of miracle just didn't exist.

So Kouhei stayed silent.

"Well, I never expected that from you anyway, so don't worry," she said quietly. "It's not like… I feel like telling you everything either. I'm sorry, but I just can't. But you probably already know, don't you? Since you're reading my emotions with the power of a Primordial Succubus… I hated it. I never once liked it. If I had the chance, I'd go back in time and change it all. But there's no going back. The only thing left is to swallow it down."