Heart of Dorkness

Monster Nine - Mom

Monster Nine - Mom

Monster Nine - Mom

Youre grounded.

I looked up. I had to blink a few times, since I was in the middle of reading something, and my eyes had to readjust. Im what? I asked.

I was in the library with Luciana again. Id finished my training for the day, and had taken my bath to get rid of the sweat and bruises. Now was the period where Id sit down and read until lunch, after which Id sit down and read until supper, then Id sit down and read until bedtime. It was going to be a very busy day.

I also had to find some time to read other things. And maybe I could practice my magic if I had some time between books.

Youre grounded, the Dark Goddess said. She stood tall next to me, back straight, nose tilted ever so slightly towards the ceiling.

Grounded? I asked. That didnt make sense.

In the sense that you, Valeria, are being punished.

I sat there, mouth working open and closed until my brows came together. Why? I asked.

She crossed her arms under her chest. You are living here, in my home. I hardly mind that you occupy my home, eat my food, and use my servants to assist you. What I do mind is you abusing those privileges.

Huh? I asked.

I hadnt tried to sneak any food into the library... ever. I was way too clumsy to trust myself not to spill something, and besides, those were the rules and rules were meant to be followed.

Your room, Luciana said. Your room that I so graciously allow you to occupy and do with as you please.

Yes? I asked. This whole thing was a bit confusing.

Have you seen the state of it? she asked.

I felt the confusion leaving, replaced by a warm flood of embarrassment that rose to my cheeks and made them burn. Is my room messy? I asked.

I dont know, Valeria, Luciana asked, though it was very much not a question. Is your room, as you say, messy?

I winced. A little?

Yes, I suppose it is a little messy. How many weeks worth of clothes are on the ground? What percentage, exactly, of the estates cutlery can be found in your room? And, in my name, how many books would I find tucked away in your room, outside of their rightful place in my library?

Uh, I said.

Therefore, youre grounded. For... I suppose a week should be enough time for you to muck out the pigsty you sleep within?

Okay. Im sorry, I said. I really was. Luciana was really nice and cool and it was my fault the room was messy.

She nodded. Good. No books or magic for a week.

Gah! I said as I jumped to my feet. It wasnt even a word, just a sound of pure.... something! A week with no books! That wasnt a grounding, that was torture. A-a week! I said.

One of her eyebrows rose up. Do you need a calendar to assist you?

A whole week! Thats too much!

You have been here for nearly six months now; thats how long it took you to transform your perfectly clean room into the state its in now. I suspect a week is how long it will take you to restore it.

Thats too long, I repeated. I added a stomp for emphasis.

Luciana sniffed. Two weeks then. One to clean up after yourself, another to reconsider the merits of talking back.

I hugged as hard as I could, but it didnt do much. I never realized how bony Luciana was. Can I call you Mom from now on? I asked.

Lucianas hand froze. Im not your mother, she said, sure and decisive.

I hiccupped, tears coming to my eyes even harder. Oh. Is that how I made her feel? I shook my head. You are. I said so, and so there.

Thats not how it works, Luciana said.

Youre a god, if you say so then thats all there is to it, I said.

Yes, well, not in matters of... motherhood. Thats very much not my domain.

I dont care. You can be my mom, anyway.

I wont let you bully me into motherhood, she said. I tugged my head back and looked up to her and-- and was she blushing? I didnt know she could do that! It wasnt a very strong blush, but there was definitely some red there.

I laughed, at first a giggle, then a full blown laugh. It wasnt too pretty, especially with my nose being all runny and my cheeks feeling puffy, but it felt good. Its not bullying if youre doing it because you love someone, I said.

Yes, well, I... Im not... please unhand me.

No.

Im not used to being refused, child.

You can call me daughter, if you want. Ill call you Mom.

Id really rather you didnt, she said, sounding pleased with the idea.

I was getting good at understanding her, I think.

I pushed my head back down, hugging her as best I could again. Im sure youll be a great mom. We already do all sorts of mom-daughter stuff.

We do not, she said.

I bet you cant wait to scare off boys.

I think thats a fathers prerogative. And its hardly as if I would have difficulty scaring off any boys... please stop changing the subject so quickly. Its uncouth.

We can do dress-shopping, and we can hang out, talk about our books and our day, and you can teach me about women stuff.

I would very, very much rather not, she said.

I laughed. Thanks, Mom.

I-I... youre still grounded.

I pulled back. Mom!

Dont Mom me, she said. Youre grounded. For... three days.

I dropped the hug. Okay, I said.

Luciana paused, her arms rising, then dropping. There was a complicated bunch of expressions that crossed her face for a moment before she shook her head. Yes, well... yes.

I grinned. No books for three days was a small price to pay for such a cool mom.

***